The Prelude of Love, The Journey of Faith: Part 9 - Aftermath

So, four months later... The words written in the last two years have been tested in my life more than I would have ever expected. Even so, at that, the testing is something that is or should be... (I really don't know) common. I think... the testing is common, but the realization is not. Or, if the realization is, the acceptance is not. And honstly, sometimes, late at night... I don't want to accept it myself. My story is here. In the last many ramblings... And even in this next. This summer has been filled with lessons that I honsetly didn't want to learn... but believe... I honestly believe... that these lessons are ones that are finally shoving me forward. I often tell people, "It's not the years, it's the miles." Now, slowly... ever so slowly... but surely, the miles are starting to be tempered by years. In the last two years, Liege has taught much, and even let me learn some. But until now, it has been a frantic pace, going from one truth to the next, and then suddenly, last week, things changed. Two weeks before summer began, I thought that I was honestly done with this lesson for a while. Then, something happened. Lessons are learned most often, through pain, and last year, my heart was torn. When God first started to teach this lesson, The Prelude of Love, I thought that it was so I could Love a Friend of mine... A good Friend, who still holds a piece of my heart. It was not so. I'm actually not sure what happened, but even my Friendship with her was lost, despite my heart longings for its return, and for an extremely long time, I was simply healing from that. Then, one day, I was praying, and I told the Lord, "You know, I think I'm doing pretty good... I mean, when it comes to focusing on You, and not on females." I think, He laughed. A simple, laugh of one who knows what comes next, and knows just how little I know... And just how much I will, in the end, enjoy what happens. He may have even warned me, I can't remember for certain... But what I do remember, is walking, and hearing a Friend's voice calling out my name. As I turned and saw my Friend, I remember thinking, "Oh boy, Lord... What's this in my heart?" Eight weeks later, I still look at my Friend, and say, "Oh boy, Lord... What is this in my heart!?!" In 2 Peter, Peter says,

"So I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have. I think it is right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body because I know that I will soon put it aside, as our Lord Jesus Christ has made clear to me. And I will make every effort to see that after my departure you will always be able to remember these things." -2 Peter 1:12-15

I used to wonder why he said that with such intensity. Three times in as many breaths. I think I now know. This entire Summer has been the aftermath of those verses repeated over and over again in this, some because of that tugging in my heart, and some because of other things that God is teaching... Almost surprisingly, I think I can explain it clearly. For you see, once you've reached the end of the verse, and added on that little bit of Love...

"...make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love." - 2 Peter 1:5-7

Do it again! Each time, the lesson is a little deeper, a little broader, a little fuller. Each time, we become a little more... Just like Christ. Remember, because you do it again. Remember because you repeat it. Remember because every time you do it... You Will Grow.

"For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." -2 Peter 1:8

I knew this before, but now I Know it. This is how you grow. Grow tall, grow strong, grow up. This is how you live Live in Reality... This is how you Love.

"As the Father has Loved Me, so have I Loved you. Now remain in My Love." - John 15:9

The Prelude of Love, The Journey of Faith: Part 8 - Love

"... and add to your Brotherly Kindness, Love."
-2 Peter 1:7

I've been trying for a very long time to write this, every time I start again, everything that I know changes, but I think Liege has finally given me the basis needed for this... at least for the very beginning.

There are many parts of Love, some that are unimportant that we focus on, and other things that are the core of Love, that even the wisest seem to forget.

Does a maiden forget her jewelry?
Or a bride her wedding ornaments?

Yet My People have forgotten Me,
Days without number.
-Jeremiah 2:32

Someone once said: "In what way, are we seeking God? Diligently? Earnestly? Sincerely? With warmth, ardor, and affection? Is our seeking the ardent pursuit of one in love—one who wants to be around this personality and really desires to know Him because we are, after all, going to marry Him and spend all eternity with Him? Or is it a kind of a take-it-or-leave-it, distant, academic coolness because we do not want to make a fool of ourselves or offend others with our zeal? Think about it."

I honestly hope that none who know me can honestly say that my Love for God is a "take-it-or-leave-it, distant, academic" love, I hope they can say that I Love my Liege, but (speaking as the one who spends the most time around myself), many times there are things that I know I need to do or say, and fear still stops me.

A friend of mine recently said, "Evil things happen, and God makes good things come of them." In that, he spoke truth, but I think that there might be more to it than that.

There is a young woman I know by reputation, one whose life has helped define my own.

In her teen years she was a semi-normal teen, but she had an illness, one that she knew would eventually cause her to die.

One summer she left home on a missions trip across the globe, and on her way there something (I don't know the disease enough to know what) happened that let her know she would not survive long.

She had two choices, go home and live the rest of her life in comfort with her family, or spend her last days in a foreign country, giving the last of her life to people she did not know.

Her Decision?

She told no one that she was about to die, and instead gave everything she had for those last two weeks of her life.

Finally, as the plane they got on to go home took off, she began to bleed from her eyes, nose, ears and mouth.

By the time they landed in London, there was nothing to be done.

She died.

In her death lies a testimony of life... Life and Love.

When you want it the most,
There's no easy way out.

When you're ready to go
But your heart lets you down,

Don't give up on your faith,
His Love comes to those who believe and,

That's the way it is.

I can't tell you if in the years before she came to this point that she Loved Jesus, or that she didn't. All I know is that in her death, she gave a testament of Love.

For as long as I shall live, I will testify of Love,
I'll be a witness in the silences when words are not enough.

With every breath I take, I will give thanks to God above,
For as long as I shall live, I will Testify of Love.

I do know this, that like Sampson, this young woman made more of a impact in her death than her life. Her pastor, her friends, her family, and all those who knew them are changed be her last actions.

I have a good Friend who once looked at me in a Wendy's and said, "I know what it means, 'To Live is Christ, to die is gain.'"

When my friend said that it was the beginning of that understanding, those words were said in sorrow and pain, but someday, my Friend will be able to look at someone in the face, truly smiling, and with jubilee say, "To Live is CHRIIST!!! To die? When God calls me home? It's even better than this!"

When that young woman gave her life, she Lived Love, the Love of God.

But...

What about the rest of us...

Those of us who must continue to "Testify of Love?"

Things get more complicated then one would think!

I've been trying to understand enough of this to be able to type out some kind of explanation for almost two years now, but without much success.

Now... I have learned much, but am no closer to an end than I was In July 2005.

How do you say "Love?"

How do you express it?

It's like a blind man describing the sun!

We see and know bits and pieces here and there: A husband knows the Love of his Wife; a Father, the Love of his children; A Pastor, Loving his flock; A Child loving a parent; Grandparents, loving their own.

All Love, but not All "OF" Love... Not even close to the beginning.

What is Love?

"This is Love: not that we loved God, but that HE LOVED US, and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."
- 1 John 4:10

It's not the nitpicking debates, or the incessant power struggles... but its when one who has the Right and the choice to argue or take the power, Chooses to step back, and quietly say, "Love."

"This is how God showed his Love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is Love! Not that we loved God, but that he Loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

Dear friends, since God so Loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we Love one another, God lives in us and His Love is made complete in us."
- 1 John 4:9-12

I don't know, maybe I'm off my rocker... but it seems both so easy, and so difficult that it ends up being deadly.

It seems, that to Love, is to die.

First, we trust; have Faith that God does know what comes of it.

Second, in that Trusting Faith, we begin to do small things like God would; we begin to show His Goodness.

Third, by Trusting Him, and beginning to mimic Him, God opens up... He gives us Knowledge... We begin to get to Know Him, until we actually begin to (albeit slowly and minimally) be like Him.

Fourth, as we start to be like Him, our Self-Control begins to grow, as we not only do what he would do in small, Good things, but in our choices, our lives, even our mannerisms... We begin choose to do things like Him, instead of the way that we know and love.

Fifth, These choices become more and more consistent and begin to permeate more and more of our lives. We begin to Persevere in God-Like choices, even when we really don't want to, and those choices begin to slowly and truly become part of our lives.

Sixth, by doing this, we start showing God-like qualities. Maybe not the Raising-Dead-People or Lots-Of-Food-From-Raw-Fish qualities, but the ones that cause people who barely know us to turn around and ask, "What happened to Him?"

Seventh, those God-Like qualities are pushed to the limit when those close to us begin to see real and dramatic God-Like actions. God begins to change us into His Own Image/Likeness, and we begin to have True compassion for other; we show Real Care for both those we slightly know, and those close to us.

Last, and by far the hardest: We begin to not only have these changes and qualities "tacked on" to our personality, or as "major additions," but the things that we still care about for ourselves begin to die.

This is where our flesh begins kicking and screaming for dear life.

Because honestly, we want to Love and give just that far... So far that we begin to slightly act like Christ... Bear an uncanny resemblance... But let's just leave our the nails, the death, shall we? We'll keep the nice bed, the permission to brag, the right to complain (We are human, after all), 'cause, y'know, getting rid of that was all part of the one man to save them all... Right?

Right?

Or maybe...

Just maybe...

There's a slight chance...

That's where Love begins.

When we work and work without recognition... and people ask "How are you?" we say, "The Joy of the Lord is My Strength!" not, "Absolutely Exhausted... You?"

When people say how exhausted they are, and we get irritated about how (in our pride, we think that) they do so much less than us, we don't try to top them or nod and try to get away... but instead we encourage, and try to give them a little boost.

That when we see pain, we act. Not because we must, but because we choose to Love.

Maybe that's where Love begins. When we're still like Jesus, even when it just galls our flesh, and we want to just STOP! And when we start to Love them, not through clenched jaws, but through loving hands, and kind hearts.

Yes, it goes against every grain of self-preservation, and sometimes it becomes harder than before... But then, we Love.

Then, we begin to be like Christ...

Then, we are our Lige-Lord's servants... His ambassadors.

Honestly, I don't know what else to say.

I'm just a blind man describing the sun. I know it's amazing... I know it's wonderful... I've experienced it and I know that it's far beyond what I say... But I don't know what else to say.

I do know this though: Even without fully understanding Love, somehow, we can Love.

So...

"Dear friends, let us Love one another, for Love comes from God. Everyone who Loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not Love does not know God, because God is Love. This is how God showed his Love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is Love: not that we loved God, but that he Loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is Love. Whoever lives in Love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, Love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in Love. But perfect Love drives out fear."
- 1 John 4:7-18

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."
1 John 3:16&18

My Friends, I feel like C.S. Lewis, when he wrote, "All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever: in which every chapter is better than the one before."

I feel like I've finally read the first page of the prelude to an amazing Novel... One that will last for all eternity.

I have no idea where this path will lead, and even less of an idea of where it will lead any of you who decide to walk this path too.

No matter what happens, I trust the Lord to keep me... I trust My Liege to teach me to Love.

"Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen."
- 2 Peter 3:18

-David

The Prelude of Love, The Journey of Faith: Part 7 - Brotherly Kindness

"... and add to your Godliness, Brotherly Kindness..."
-2 Peter 1:7

I have a friend, and my heart rends to say this, I cannot use names or even grab some fake names for them...

You're My Brother, You're my Sister,
So Take me by the Hand.
Together We will walk, 'Till He comes.
There's no foe that can defeat us,
If we're walking side by side

As Long as there's His Love,
We will stand.

Have you ever had to trust someone with all of you? With all of who you are?

The Lord has me writing a Book, a Novel entitled, "The Accounting."

For me at least, the byline is, "What Will Your Story Be?"

I'm sure you recognize this passage by now...

For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
- 2 Peter 1:8

Something that I sometimes (or maybe often) forget though, is this...

But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.
- 2 Peter 1:9

In my mind, when we forget that we have been cleansed from our past sins... We forget God.

Does a maiden forget her jewelry?
Or a bride her wedding ornaments?

Yet My People have forgotten Me,
Days without number.
- Jeremiah 2:32

Yes, I know, what does this have to do with Brotherly Kindness?

Well...

I'm not quite sure, this just seems to be where the Lord's taking me!

Several months ago, I was able to talk with a Friend of mine long into the night (we were both sick with some Epidemic), simply about how great and wonderful God is. Although our conversation jumped from highlight to highlight, the central theme barely changed.

At one point we began talking about the spiritual realm, and our conversation ranged from time to spiritual warfare, but in each subject it was, "Wow, God is really amazing!"

God is outside of Time. Wow!

For whatever reason, He has left Demons in existence; he hasn't completely destroyed all the Fallen Angels! What amazing mercy!

Your mercy shines like the Morning,
When the darkness runs from the day.
Like a rising sun, O, Your Glory,
Chases the shadows away,
And we are changed,
By Your Mercy.
-Ray Boltz

I made a Friend that day, one that I haven't had an opportunity to talk to for a while, but a Friend, nonetheless.

That night in the Quarantine of the Nurses Station (we called it the Morgue), two siblings in Christ simply showed each other Kindness, and that's all there is!

Applying that at home can often be a different story.

I have a Sister, and she is probably the most amazing young woman in the world. She chases after God with all her being, she is a literal genius, can sing with beauty that would put an angel to shame, and even complete strangers comment on her amazing beauty both outside and inside.

Her personality is amazing, she can work with almost anyone, and has a gentleness that is amazing.

Oh yeah...

Remember the "'almost' anyone?" She and I are in conflict regularly!

Be it something major, minor, or in between, we will each have a different opinion!

I have a joke with a Friend, it's that when God gave this list, He said, "If you can manage Brotherly Kindness, you've already got Love!"

I wish I could give great and wonderful examples here, but I've been here for a long time, first trying to learn it, then just doing it, and as far as I can tell, there is no quick fix to exhibiting true Brotherly Kindness on a continual basis.

Doing it every once in a while, or even most of the time, just doesn't cut it! Yes, failure is most likely, but as soon as we fail, it is time to pick up the pieces and keep going. Yes, it sounds like a cliche, but remember that our life is like a great battle, and there is not time to stop on the battleground.

Paraphrasing a Great Friend of mine, "If you're looking for perfection, you're not going to find it here."

In this I'm not expecting perfection, but I want to be what I look for in my Friends.

I don't care how often they fail, I want them there to fight when someone attacks my back, just as I expect to be there when they can't defend.

And thus, the most difficult part...

How many of you remember the line, "Back! Let the Prince win his spurs!"

In the Chronicles of Narnia, Peter is about to fight his first battle, and with the strength of an entire army around him, the Great Lion, the High King commands the army back, to let Peter win or die on his own.

Sometimes, true Brotherly Kindness is to back off, and let the Warrior fight.

I have a Friend who the Lord let me fight life battles with for a while, but something that I had to witness took place. My Friend began to rely far too heavily on me.

Instead of being there to catch the stray "arrow," I began to become more and more immersed, until I found that I was losing in my battles where I was truly needed.

It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but I backed off and "Let the Warrior earn the spurs."

I know the battle still rages in my Friend's life, but I also her it when the Lord says that I can't be part of it right now. After taking counsel with some trusted peers and not-so-peers, I know that I simply have to wait, and let this battle turn out as it will, for "The Battle Belongs to the Lord."

To be there when needed;
To back off when one's presence would not be right;
To be there in prayer nonetheless.

This is Brotherly Kindness.

Faith
Virtue
Knowledge
Perseverance
Self-Control
Godliness
Brotherly Kindness.

Love.

Even though it isn't always showing, I love my lil' Sis, and ever so slowly, the Lord is teaching me to be a Brother, to have Brotherly Kindness, and I hope someday I can be someone who can Echo Christ to her.

Brotherly Kindness;

Love.
-David

P.S. I kind of feel inadequate here, by the way, I was hoping to be alot more secure by the time I finished writing this, but hey, at least it's Real.

So apologies to all those who wanted some good pointers and didn't get any, I'll be sure to do another one when the Lord shows me more!
-Me