The Prelude of Love, The Journey of Faith: Part 6 - Godliness

"... and to Perseverance, Godliness..."
-2 Peter 1:6

Alright... Here we are. Three Steps from the finish, and I have a small problem. God has given us a set of steps in 2 Peter that state how to acquire Love... and now... out of the blue... God has gifted something to me. He has taught me what cannot be taught... to Love.

To summarize my last post, I very briefly skimmed over Trust being the most important part of Perseverance, and attempted to allude to another form of Self-Control that I cannot quickly put into words. A very inadequate form to state it would be, "Loving by Losing."

Even the Love God has shown me, Love from a Man to a Woman, is different from the World's view. Even in the smallest points it differs! The World says, "I Love you, you should Love me" ('twas my own view for a while), but out Liege says and tells us to live this; "I Love you, and will both love and Love you (See Prelude of Love, Journey of Faith: Part 2 - Virtue for more on the distinction) no matter whether you Love me or not."

Approximately three weeks before I wrote my last post, I was injured in a classroom related accident, and had the chance to sit for a very long time at home, praying, reading the Word, and growing closer to God. In this time a prayer that I used to pray two or three times a day became a continuous motto for those immobile weeks. "Lord, Teach me to Love... 'Brianna' (not her real name), my Best Friend."

Until this time, I had simply enjoyed being in her presence, looked forward to her calls, and constantly spoke about her to anyone and everyone whom I came in contact with. In short, I "liked" her, and even "(l)oved" her, but didn't yet possess the ability to "(L)ove" her with never-ending Love. Near the end of this time, the Lord gave me a gift, as from a Liege to his servant... He gave me the gift of Love. I Love her.

(You can skip the next 11 paragraphs, its just rambling and summarizing the last lessons)

Then something happened that I did not imagine. I thought (as do many who ask the Lord for Love) that when I began to Love her, she would Love me in return. But that was not God's plan.

A young man, "Jarid Seal," a man who chases after God, won her heart.

And thus I began to Persevere, for while I in myself would enter to vie for her heart and Love, for one reason or another, I must wait. I must Persevere.

(And here's where the "Keeping it Real" part of my blog comes in)

I should, and do, feel joy for "Brianna," she has found a Man who Loves God maybe more than I, one whose honest simplicity is rarely seen. But I also feel sorrow.

I had a long problem to complete earlier this week, and doing it took all my concentration, it took me to nearly 1:00 AM, but when it was done, I had nothing else pressing that I could do, and my sorrow came upon me.

My tears of prayer, joy, and immeasurable sorrow. From 1:00 AM to 11:00 AM I cried. I would think that my tears were gone, then I would remember sone of those "Just Friends" moments that I wish had become more... A laugh we had shared, tears we had shed together, even harsh words thrown between us, and my tears would resume.

I even began to pray, and remembered that the last time I had been praying at that time was because I was awoken from a deep sleep to pray for her, and I began to cry some more. All that to say this, my next lesson will be quite interesting... Loving her, and blessing her, and in every way, shape, and form, following God's guidelines of "Let her Love," "Love her by losing," "Wait (maybe for all time) to even tell her how you feel."

There's a song about staying pure until marriage, and it somehow applies here (I know it because on one of our times of just hanging out before, "Brianna" showed it to me).

True Love waits,
Don't let anyone change your ways
Look them all straight in the face
And tell em, No matter what I'll remain the same
Don't want to be deceived
See, I've found the key can't you see
That I believe, I believe
That True Love waits for me, waits for me

I can tell you that the Lord has given me Love for her, but has told me to stay in the background and wait, maybe for her, maybe not, but that against all my Heart wants to do, to fade out and let her learn to Love.

(If you skipped paragraphs, come back in here!)

I think... in a way... He's teaching me a lesson about Godliness.

I have an idea now, how our Liege-Lord feels, when He stands there, Loving us, waiting for us, and we love another, we love the world. "Brianna" and I have been Friends for a long time, Best Friends from my standpoint, and our friendship grew slowly but deeply in that time.

The same with us and God, our relationship with Him often grows deeper and sweeter slowly, and we eventually become true Friends.

The time when "Brianna" needed me for an ear has passed, and I cannot tell you how sad I have been to not be able to bring some Joy from her Sorrow.

With God, we never come to the point where we no longer need Him. My heart aches when I remember those Longer-than-an-hour calls, and I know that she doesn't need me... What must God feel like when we pray for long times when we feel like we need Him, but when we don't feel that need (but still have it!) we stop and become re-entombed in pain and sin because of it.

I was turned away for someone who I believe may truly be better for her, but what about when we turn God away for something that will only cause us death?

And yet God still Loves us!

God is Love!

"Love is patient, Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails"
-1 Corinthians 13:4-8

God never fails!

This is Virtue; This is Godliness.

Patience, Kindness, Lack of Envy, Lack of Boastfulness, Lack of even Pride! No Rudeness, no Self-Seeking (that's the one my flesh has a problem with!), Not easily brought to Anger, Never keeping records of Wrongs. Never delighting in Evil, Always rejoicing in Truth, always Protecting, always Trusting, always Hoping, always Preserving, and never, ever, Failing these qualities.

That is Godliness. Without Godliness, there can be no Love! These parts do not encompass all of Love, but they are essential to it, without them, there is no Love, just as with no water, there is no Life!

And as an unworthy one to whom God has gifted the capacity for, not all of it, but a large portion of Love, it's true!

Even the ever-troublesome "Self-Seeking," I Love "Brianna" and would/will do anything I can to help her be the best she can be in Christ, even though for now, and maybe forever, it means losing her when I've just begun to Love her. Doing the best for her at my own expense...

Just what Christ did for us.

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
-2 Corinthians 5:21

This is Godliness; This is Love.

I can't tell you how I miss knowing that in the middle of the day, just for fun, I might receive a text message from her, or awaiting those Longer-than-an-hour phone calls, and I know that God has a greater plan for her than me. Maybe later I could be the plan... maybe even soon (I hope and pray) but now I am not part of God's greatest plan for her life.

Those of you who have been around for a while may remember my old June 05 post that stated:

Even more recently (June 22nd, 2005) God called me on this calling. The calling to give all we have and all we are, even if we must lose what we desire most.

How does God feel when we break off communication with Him, and it is not because we have something better in our lives, because there is none greater than God! Rather, it is because we have something else in our lives... A new movie, game, job, anything that brings us to a place where we don't spend time with Him. As it was said before; My feelings are of immeasureable sorrow, and I know that "Brianna" is Loving someone in God's will, how must God feel when we give our Love to someone or something that brings us farther from Him and closer to Death.

This is Love: not that we Loved God, but that he Loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
-1 John 4:10

This is Love.

This is Faith: God will reward her for the righteousness I show with her. The substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

This is Knowledge: I may lose her forever, but she will be someday blessed, whether through "Jarid," myself, or another... At some point, this action (or non-action) of standing back though Faith in God will bless her.

This is Virtue: I will commit myself to a Potent Moral Excellence that compels and commands Action to bring her the best God has for her, to the greatest extent that I can.

This is Self-Control: I will do what is best for her, even when it brings me pain, sorrow, hours of tears, even when it means I will lose what I Love.

This is Perseverance: For as long as God requests it of me, I will be her Friend, her Best Friend if He and she will let me be, but no more, for it is His will.

This is Godliness: I will give up all God will let me for her, Love her all the more, and do all that is in the Power God has given me to Love her per 1 Corinthians 13.

This is Brotherly Kindness: I will always be here for her if she need anything, I will be an image of Christ, Loving her with all the Love and love and Brotherly Love God wills to give me.

This is Love: Whether she ever Loves me back or not, I will take what God has placed of Himself within me, and both Love and love her will all that is righteous... Love her with God's (L)ove not "romantic" (l)ove or (L)ove, and if the Lord never tells me that it is right and righteous to Love with all I am through something deeper and romantic (courtship, maybe even marriage), I will Love her with all that is righteous for me, through God; That far, and no farther.
-David Shore



"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
-John 13:34-35

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight [He will direct your paths].
-Proverbs 3:5-6