For Such a Time

For Such a Time as this

Now, All I have is now.
To be faithful, to be holy,
And to shine the lighting of the darkness.

Right now, I really have no choice,
But to voice the truth to the nations,
A generation looking for God.


For such a time as this,
I was placed upon the earth.
To hear the voice of God and do his will, whatever it is.

For such a time as this,
From now and all the days he gives,
I am here, I am here, and I am His, for such a time as this.

My time, this is my time. It's not the time of the people sitting on my left and right, it's my time. Some have been called, but even less have responded. Some have heard the call, and knowing what it is, denied it. It is not their time. Some have not heard the call, and it's not yet their time. There are a very few who have heard the call, and who have accepted that call. It is our time.

Some have heard the call, but ignored it. Some have heard the call and accepted it, but their time has already come and gone. My call came many years ago, and I accepted it then, but since a new call has come.

I used to be a naive child who knew not the world, then all my call was, was simply to love our God. Then I was a child who met the world and cried for it. My call was then to love the world as I loved God. Then I was a young teen/preteen who saw the world and embrased it. My call was to come back to our God, to love and live for Him again. Then my call was to raise others up to become men and women of God.

And then I died. On Christmas Eve, 2002, I died. I don't believe that many know that. My body lived, but barely. At nearly midnight, my mind changed from a normal person, slightly more than average in my intelligence, into a realm of chaos. Reality and fiction were merged, I knew nothing. I am still David Douglas Tate Shore, but I don't even think of myself as the same person pre 2002 and post 2003.

Before, I was a person birthed of joy, and a life with many people to hold me and catch me when I was weak. Now I am a man birthed of pain, suffering, and a love of my God. My first memory after my mind broke was of pain, and it was a cry to God for help, the cry of a child being birthed, if you will. Even then, I was not complete, for all memories of my life were gone.

My friends, my education, even my family were forgotten. My good friend Aaron Bruun must have been more than slightly surprised when I called him. I am not certain if my memory of that event is from his recounting, or if I actually remember it, but he was the third person to whom I called in an attempt to find out who I was. I don't know who the first person was, but the second was named Eric, I am not even sure where I knew him from.

Since then, Liege has let me remember more and more of my history. Some of it has been enjoyable, and some of it has been beyond sorrowful, to find who I was before before the pain changed me.

Imagine, if you will, not knowing anything. Not knowing your own name, not knowing the strangers who stand over you, who are your family, not knowing who you are, barely able to convey that sense to others, and barely understanding their responces. That was my trial. Since those days, memories come back, I just now remembered that I used to live just several miles from Pueblo, Colorado for several years.

Beyond even that, since then I have experienced increasing pain at all times, with no halting or lessening, and constantly deal with that pain. For over two years, I have been in a trial, one that gets worse as each second progresses.

If you can, I challenge you to find an experience which is more maturing.

I have learned to lean on God for everything. For the will to live, for the trust to survive. First I lived for David(myself), obeying God, then I lived in a mad chase, attempting to distance myself from pain, not caring of anything but pain, and now I finally live a live for God, for Keeping it Real. Not just real in the physical sense, but Real, as Truth, as Jesus is the Way the Truth and the Life. I can never be one just like Jesus, but every breath can be a fight to be so.

Some say that a hopeless battle is not worth fighting, I say that there are precious few that are more worth it. I have obtained a small knowledge of several archaic languages since I have been "Made New," and I think of myself as someone different. My name is truly and legaly David Douglas Tate Shore, but who I was, much of the love of the flesh was taken from me. What I had loved [in my own flesh] is dead, and who I was, is now buried with it."

I used to be one who thought of myself first, and all else second, but since what I loved, myself, was destroyed, I could no longer do so. God has since trusted me with the choice to love myself as I once did. I still occasionally forget things like who I am and have to stay away from things that increase pain, but on the majority, I have been given much of what I had know back!

God has also taught me how to be real (as in Real), maybe someday I will be someone like my Good friend Aaron, who has a hunger for God that puts me to shame. Maybe I'll be a Tiffany, who lets God work through her in ways that she cannot even grasp yet. Maybe I'll pull a Pastor Luke, and be someone who will set this world aflame for Christ, Maybe I'll be a PJ (Pastor James), and raise up people from the gutters who will come beside me and soon guide me. But I hope and pray, that I will be a David, a David who people will see and say, "Lord, make me like him!" May I be a man to whom people can truly say, "Follow him, as he follows Christ."

God has truly blessed me with much more than has been taken away.

Praise be to our Lord's name!

SONG OF JOB
SEBASTIAN KU (Recorded Dec 2004)

When clouds of darkness
Overwhelms my soul
When the strength of my heart
Is swept away
When my friends have left me
All hope seem far away
When the words of comfort
Refuse to stay

There’s a song in the night
There’s a light in the dark
There’s a gentle voice that soothes my heart


For I know that my Redeemer lives
And His love for me will never end
My heart, my flesh may fade away
Yet with my eyes I’ll see my God

In the quiet corner
In the still of night
Your tender presence
Lifts me high

My sweet Companion
My Friend and Guide
My soul’s deep Anchor
In You I abide

You’re the song in the night
You’re the light in the dark
You’re the gentle voice that soothes my heart


For I know that my Redeemer lives
And His love for me will never end
My heart, my flesh may fade away
Yet with my eyes I’ll see my God

I live my life to give You praise
Every breath, everyday, every beat of my heart
This life is captured by Your grace
To worship who You are

-David

Standing in Awe

Amazing Trials

Appendix to Audio Post: The individual I referance in the beginning of the post I state is younger than me, I found that I am in fact her Junior, by almost two days!

A quick note and another Letter

Hi all, I'm back after just one day, now that's amazing. To make one quick note about yesterday's post, "Terry's" story was a question that God asked during my prayer time, and He asked me in a "what if" sense, it's a question that I hope and pray that I never have to face in real life. Now, for the other letter! Another good friend of mine recently wrote me a letter and as a sidenote asked my a question. I was going to attempt to make a quick reply to it, but it ended up being a three page reply. I'm going to post it here (again changing names and little details that might give the names and places away), e-mail me or comment it to tell me if you thing I might have it right, or if I'm totally whacked and out there. Thanks all,

Hey Tom, No problem about not going to My Old Church, I fully understand your dilemma. If you miss this week, don't feel bad, whenever you have the time. Speaking in Tongues, whew, you know how to really lay a good question on. Forgive me if I sound a little too theological, but I really try to be careful about this and use the Bible to back me up, so every statement that I make will be backed up with scripture. Alright, lets see if I can say this right. There are biblically two different types of Speaking in Tongues, each being divided into two sub groups. They are... 1. Speaking in the Tongues of Men... 2. ... and of Angels (1 Corinthians 13:1) The sub groups being... 1. Speaking in the Tongues of Men A: Holy Spirit speaking through you in a language that you know (Luke 12:11-12) B: Holy Spirit speaking through you in a language that you do not know (Acts 2:4-6) 2. Speaking in the Tongues of Angels A: Holy Spirit speaking through you for the growth of the Church as a group (1 Corinthians 14:5) B: Holy Spirit speaking through you for the growth of the Church as YOU (1 Corinthians 14:2) Many churches that believe in the speaking of tongues agree with the previous statements, but here is where my personal study of the Bible sometimes gets me in trouble. (Most scriptures I use will be taken from 1 Corinthians and Acts, but I probably will bounce back and forth throughout the Bible, and I will be using multiple versions i.e. New King John, The Message, New International, etc.) Paul is the foremost Biblical authority on the speaking of Tongues (1 Corinthians 14:18) so most of my thoughts come from his teachings. Most Christians agree that Holy Spirit will give you "the words to speak (Luke 12:11-12)," but many are divided over what is more commonly called "the speaking of Tongues." Biblically, by far, this is the most common form of speaking in Tongues is when Holy Spirit speaks through you in a language that you know, sometimes with a physical manifestation of power (Acts 3:6) sometimes not (those times are often labeled as "words of wisdom") (Acts 9:20-21). The most obvious part of the Bible speaking of this aspect of Holy Spirit is when the Bible says the all scripture is "God Breathed" (2 Timothy 3:16). An actual translation of Holy Spirit is "Sacred Breath." So all scripture is given by "God's Sacred Breath." So there's 66 Books and Letters of "Speaking in Tongues." If my understanding of scripture is accurate, this also includes the gift of Prophesying. Ok, so much for the very easy part. Speaking in other languages that you do not know, this has been the cause of much division, probably because there is only one example (that I am aware of) in the Bible of people speaking in another human language that is unknown to them (Acts 2:4-6). In my personal experience, I do not believe that I have ever personally heard anyone speaking in a Language that is unknown to them, of course, I would probably not even realize it if I did, seeing as I am proficient only in English, and I expect most people in our country to know English. Pastor John has seen this gift before, if my memory serves me correctly, on one of his missions trips one of his students began to speak fluently in the French tongue, a language which she did not know. So much for the semi-easy part, now to the hard. If you have never read 1 Corinthians 13-15, you might want to before you go any farther. Much of what you see of the speaking of tongues is done as private prayer in a group setting, a concept with which I wrestle often. 1 Corinthians specifically divides the languages of the Spirit into two separate groups, for you and for you and others. Paul says that while in church he would rather speak only five words in a language that everyone understood to instruct them, than he would ten thousand words that no one understands (speaking in tongues) (1 Corinthians 14:19). Beyond that, Paul says that when believers come together, everyone has something that God wants them to say to strengthen the church (1 Corinthians 14:26), but there are two things specified. First, very few people is God ever going to give in one period of time to them to say in a "strange tongue," and they should only speak One-At-A-Time (1 Corinthians 14:27)! And even beyond that, the MUST be an interpretation (1 Corinthians 14:27). If there is not interpretation, Paul goes as far as to say to keep quiet (1 Corinthians 14:28) "For God is not a God of disorder but of peace." (1 Corinthians 14:33) What a lot of us believers do, something I used to do when I was at My Old Church, is I would confuse the Public speaking in Tongues and the Private speaking in Tongues, almost completely forgetting the simply speaking in our own language what God has for us to speak. So I did "give thanks well, but the other is not build up." (1 Corinthians 14:17) Paul said that speaking in Tongues by itself is useless to the church as a group (1 Corinthians 14:6). That seems harsh, but unless there is an interpretation, we all might know that God is speaking, but no one knows what God is saying (1 Corinthians 14:9; 14:16-17)! Something that we seem to have missed, is that Public Speaking in Tongues is to be understood and interpreted by someone! Now this might get me in trouble. Most people teach that when we are praying in Tongues that we are supposed to "clear our minds" and "press in." Unfortunately, it seems that Paul's teaching was to "pray in our spirits AND in our minds" for if we pray in "the spirit" and not in our minds, our minds are unfruitful (1 Corinthians 14:14-15) (emphasis mine). Here comes the other trouble spot. "Wherefore he who speaks in an [unknown] tongue -- let him pray that he may interpret." (1 Corinthians 14:13) I do not know if this is only for Public speaking in Tongues or also Private speaking in Tongues, I can only read it and beg for wisdom. In conclusion, if we were to together study this one aspect of God, we would "never even scratch the surface." Some people use that as a way of saying, "Let's move on to something else," but I mean it as that there is so much that is amazing in this part of God, that I will never tire of learning more about this. If the Lord ever gives you knowledge about this aspect of himself or any other, please, don't hesitate to write me and tell me, I am always hoping to hear wisdom from people our age, and in so few is it shown. Thanks my friend for letting me delve into this aspect of our Lord again, and for letting me grow from it. I'll be seeing you,

Talk to my y'all, tell me if you think I'm way off track or not. Thanks eveyone!

How much do we really want to be like Christ?

Well, It's been a while since I published anything on my blog, my deepest apologies to any who might be avid readers. I was writing a letter to a friend of mine named Aaron today, and instead of being a quick note like I had planned, it became an opening of my heart. I am posting that letter here, I am altering all the names but my own and Aaron's, fixing a little grammar, and removing one fact about the first story that could lead any who live in my area to figuring out who "Karen" is (even though I really don't know myself). Also, since I am leaving this letter otherwise unaltered, I state later that I did not change "Terry's" name, in my acutal letter I did not, while I did change her name in this post. So here is my letter...

Sorry man, I missed you again. I called you at about 6:00 your time and missed you. I'm usually at church until about 5:30 your time, so I guess I'll keep trying. One thing that I know you will go over (and over and over and over) but I'll mention anyway about LitO [A book soon being published by Aaron entitled, Lost in the Ocean] is to not forget about going over your grammar, syntax, and spellings. I have to say though, each time I read over what you have sent to me thus far I learn more and more. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Sometimes as I wander through this thing we call life, I wonder if there have been any whom I have really had an impact on. I have a feeling that you have been at the point too, when you are at the point in your Christian walk, where you have to turn around and say, "All these people's blood will be on my hands, and I lost the once chance I had to show them Jesus." Like your own experience chronicled in "To War," that was the time for me when I finally began to press even beyond what I knew was beyond. I knew that so many lives I could have touched, yet didn't, and that gave me a righteous rage that nearly threw me into a frenzy of trying to know God even more than I had before. My love for him grew even greater as I saw again and again, what I already knew, but I was seeing it in whole new ways. I believe DCTalk said it right, What if I stumble, what if I fall? What if I lose my step and make fools of us all? I have stumbled so many times, sometimes just tripping, sometimes falling flat on my face in the mud, and pulling an Adam, trying to hide in the garden, from an all-seeing God. I saw His forgiveness in so many new ways, trusting me with sometimes Supernatural knowledge of what to pray for, sometimes placing me in places that I never would have gone on my own, and finding something that I need to pray about, either in my own life, or in others. Recently, very recently, Liege (another title I use for Our Lord) placed me in a position, where I would know a situation, from someone's own mouth, I would not know who I was praying for, but would be so enraged that I would pray beyond belief for this gal, and am still doing so. One of the people who go to HG has a friend whose name Liege has not permitted me to remember, and I was placed in a position to hear this friend pour out her pain to Pastor John, and it was a story that I have heard over and over again, yet this was the first time that it really hit home. Within minutes my emotions went from Sorrow to Rage, to a strange protectiveness, back to an Absolute Rage, and sometimes still swings around. Even now I have to keep my hands from shaking as I type, for remembering the story in the vividness needed to write about it is enough to fill me with rage again! I hope that whenever you find the song "He is Still the Father" you get to hear it at least once, because it is so powerful, the chorus is, He is still the Father, who loves his little girls, He would never hurt you, or destroy your world. In his eyes you sparkle, like a priceless shining pearl. He is still the Father, who loves his little girls. *Edit: see bottom of post for full song lyrics* In my prayers I use the pseudo-name Karen when praying for this girl, and I have to keep myself from begging God's wrath upon her brothers. And her parents who cannot bring themselves to believe her, and the social workers who have ignored her constant pleas... Usually when I rant like that I delete and write over again, but I don't think I'll do that this time around. I once asked Father (God) if he would let me feel the people's pain like he does. I thing that maybe he is giving me a little taste of that. I seem to keep returning to songs, but I can't think of any other ways to say it. Don't Tell Them Don't tell them Jesus loves them, Till you're ready to love them too. Till your heart breaks from the Sorrow and the Pain they're gong through. With a life full of compassion, may we do what we must do. Don't tell them Jesus loves them, Till you're ready to love them too. Oh suffering soul, crying out for love in a world that seldom cares, See the hungry heart, longing to be filled much more than our prayers. And as a young girl sells herself on Seventh Avenue, as you hear her crying out for help. "My God, what will we do?" Do You Feel? Do you feel their pain, has it touched your life Can you taste the salt in the tears they cry Will you love them more than the hate that's been Will you love them back to life again? Will you care for them, or let them go alone Will you lend a hand, or will you cast the stone Do you feel their pain, has it touched your life Can you taste the salt in the tears they cry Will you love them more than the hate that's been Will you love them back to life again? What enrages me most of all is when people call themselves Christ-like and yet turn Karens away. Ours was not the first church to which Karen turned to, what kind of Christians would turn her away? If my writing turns a little choppy, please forgive me, this touches on my heart. Next time I'm down that way, I will definitely have to tell you my whole story. I don't even know why I'm talking about her now, this wasn't the plan. But God has let me feel some of her pain. Just yesterday or two days ago I was praying when Liege asked me a question, actually two. It was questions that I have not fully answered yet, but ones that I have already spent hours praying over. I will probably have to give you some background, but the questions Liege has asked me is this, (forgive me if don't mince words this time, Liege didn't when he asked me, and I'm not planning on doing it now) "If your friend Terry was raped, would you love her as a sister enough to be a father figure to her child?" This first question was hard enough, but before I got over the initial shock of receiving that first question, that calm loving voice of my Liege asked me another that the exact wording was lost in the shock, and literally stopped me in my tracks. I was working as a road-side waver when I was praying and received these questions, and I had to remember to keep waving once God asked me these. He asked, "And also my son/warrior, would you be willing, not to marry her, but to never speak of the child but as your own?" Bing, bang, boom. I stood there silently for a while, and Holy Spirit brought the scripture to mind, "A new commandment I give you, Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love one to another. (John 13:34-35)" I didn't understand what Liege was saying to me, I said, "But Lord! You never did that! You never ever did something like that!" Quietly, I heard the song, Thank you for the Cross, Thank you for the Cross, Thank you for the Cross, my friend. Thank you for the Cross, Thank you for the Cross, Thank you for the Cross, my friend. Once again I look upon the cross where you died, Humbled by your mercy, I'm broken inside. Once again I thank you, Once again I pour out my life. Jesus Christ, I think upon your sacrifice, You became nothing, poured out to death. Many times I’ve wondered at Your gift of life, And I’m in that place once again. I’m in that place once again. All I could say was, "Oh." That is exactly what Jesus did. He came before his Father, not as a symbol, as we so often see him, but as the sinner. Jesus didn't just come in place of a thief and rapist, but when the judgment was to be passed down saying, "I AM HE!" He didn't just become our Father and Brother, he didn't just take up the punishment, but somehow, beyond my comprehension, without committing sin, he BECAME sin for us (2 Cor. 5:21). He didn't just take on sin, and he never sinned himself, yet he both became sin and (forgive me if I can't describe it, or it sounds theologically whacked, this concept I cannot describe, for words are never as big as the truth they describe) without sinning, became the sinner. If you go to court, you cannot take the punishment of another, you can only take the punishment if you did the wrong. That was what Jesus was asking if I would be willing to do, even if it was only in a theoretical sense. I do not have to ability to 'take on sins,' but I could go around, and if somehow the Lord was not meaning this theoretically, when people would say, "He's the father," I would not deny it. I would not be the child's birth father, Just like Father isn't our birth father, yet I would be the child's father from birth, Just like Father, since we are born again! If someone were to say about God, "He's the Father," God would not say, "Hey now, wait a minute, yes I am his father, but remember, I wasn't always his father, he was born in sin. Don't ask me who the REAL father is!" NO! God would say, "YES! That is my Son! I love him beyond love! He is MY SON! I AM HIS FATHER!" (This metaphor is somewhat off, but) God would not even worry about being confused with the person who was the out-of-wedlock father, but would enthusiastically claim us as His own! Yes, God will marry us at the greatly awaited "Wedding Supper of the Lamb," but that is not for appearances, but because Jesus loves us so much. I don't know how to explain it, but those two questions have struck me to the core. My spirit goes YES! YES! My Jesus would do it, and has done it! YES, I WANT TO BE LIKE HIM! Unfortunately my flesh says, "But that would ruin your testimony now, wouldn't it?" I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt, my Jesus would take on that child as his own, and in the theoretical sense in which the question was asked, yes I would too! But if Terry ever was Really raped, and she asked me to be the father figure, would I? Would I be willing to risk my reputation, or would I stay in the shadow of fear of man in the guise of keeping my testimony? Would I? Would I really? It's not a question of What Would Jesus Do? Instead the question is What DID Jesus Do? He took the "Child born out of wedlock, "the "Child born under unusual circumstances," (you know what I mean) and has called us his own (Romans 8:16)! Would I? What Would I Do? I have just now answered my Liege by paraphrasing Peter, "What else could I do?" If I want to be like you Jesus, what else could I do? I am sorry about this quite lengthy letter, maybe it was more for me than you. As I started to do about three pages back, Thank you so much for being someone whom I can look back to and find someone to whom I know my life touched, and has grown in the Lord so much, I believe has grown higher and deeper than me. You know this already, but when (emphasis on when) you come down this way, "Karen's" story is confidential, many here could put the “who” with the story easily. And when I wrote Liege's question to me, I didn't change the name, so that would probably be quiet too. Anyway, I am going to attempt to call you again tonight, but if I don't get you that way... if it's alright with you, I want to show some of your work to Pastor John (my youth pastor), if nothing else, he could write a piece about it for the back cover for you. If I don't get a hold of you, E-mail me by Tomorrow, mid-day so I can know whether or not to print the papers off. Thanks man, P.S. You know, that was planned on being a short note, asking your permission to show your work to Pastor John, I guess God had some other plans.

Well, There's my letter. I am again sorry that I have not posted recently, I will try to do better. Stay Strong my Brothers and Sisters, -David DT Shore

*Edit: I found that most of the people coming to my blog are finding it through serching for "He is Still the Father" so I have posted the full lyrics here: They tell her, God loves her, She says "That's great!" They tell her, He's a father, Then she hesitates. Something happened long ago, She still feels the fear. If God is like a Father, Does she really want Him near? He is still the Father, who loves his little girls, He would never hurt you, or destroy your world. In his eyes you sparkle, like a priceless shining pearl. He is still the Father, who loves his little girls. Tomorrow, the papers, Will print the news. A father, a daughter, Another child abused. So many hearts are breaking now, Who is keeping score? For every one they rag about, There are thousands more. But He is still the Father, who loves his little girls, He would never hurt you, or destroy your world. In his eyes you sparkle, like a priceless shining pearl. He is still the Father, who loves his little girls. His arms are strong, (His arms are strong) And they won't hurt you, (They won't hurt you) His hand is there, (His hand is there) To lead the way. His loving eyes can see your heartache, And they'll wipe your tears away, (He will wipe your tears away) (He will wipe your tears away) For He is still the Father, who loves his little girls, He would never hurt you, or destroy your world. In his eyes you sparkle, like a priceless shining pearl. He is still the Father, who loves his little girls. I can't remember who wrote the song ("Rue" something or other), but it was released (to my knowledge) only in Washington State. Before I moved to Virginia, I used to go to Church For All Nations in Tacoma, WA, and we did that song often as a Human Video. If anyone has a copy of that song, or even knows who wrote it, or where I can buy it, pleeeease e-mail me at, (dablueeagle@gmail.com)! Thanks!