How much do we really want to be like Christ?

Well, It's been a while since I published anything on my blog, my deepest apologies to any who might be avid readers. I was writing a letter to a friend of mine named Aaron today, and instead of being a quick note like I had planned, it became an opening of my heart. I am posting that letter here, I am altering all the names but my own and Aaron's, fixing a little grammar, and removing one fact about the first story that could lead any who live in my area to figuring out who "Karen" is (even though I really don't know myself). Also, since I am leaving this letter otherwise unaltered, I state later that I did not change "Terry's" name, in my acutal letter I did not, while I did change her name in this post. So here is my letter...

Sorry man, I missed you again. I called you at about 6:00 your time and missed you. I'm usually at church until about 5:30 your time, so I guess I'll keep trying. One thing that I know you will go over (and over and over and over) but I'll mention anyway about LitO [A book soon being published by Aaron entitled, Lost in the Ocean] is to not forget about going over your grammar, syntax, and spellings. I have to say though, each time I read over what you have sent to me thus far I learn more and more. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Sometimes as I wander through this thing we call life, I wonder if there have been any whom I have really had an impact on. I have a feeling that you have been at the point too, when you are at the point in your Christian walk, where you have to turn around and say, "All these people's blood will be on my hands, and I lost the once chance I had to show them Jesus." Like your own experience chronicled in "To War," that was the time for me when I finally began to press even beyond what I knew was beyond. I knew that so many lives I could have touched, yet didn't, and that gave me a righteous rage that nearly threw me into a frenzy of trying to know God even more than I had before. My love for him grew even greater as I saw again and again, what I already knew, but I was seeing it in whole new ways. I believe DCTalk said it right, What if I stumble, what if I fall? What if I lose my step and make fools of us all? I have stumbled so many times, sometimes just tripping, sometimes falling flat on my face in the mud, and pulling an Adam, trying to hide in the garden, from an all-seeing God. I saw His forgiveness in so many new ways, trusting me with sometimes Supernatural knowledge of what to pray for, sometimes placing me in places that I never would have gone on my own, and finding something that I need to pray about, either in my own life, or in others. Recently, very recently, Liege (another title I use for Our Lord) placed me in a position, where I would know a situation, from someone's own mouth, I would not know who I was praying for, but would be so enraged that I would pray beyond belief for this gal, and am still doing so. One of the people who go to HG has a friend whose name Liege has not permitted me to remember, and I was placed in a position to hear this friend pour out her pain to Pastor John, and it was a story that I have heard over and over again, yet this was the first time that it really hit home. Within minutes my emotions went from Sorrow to Rage, to a strange protectiveness, back to an Absolute Rage, and sometimes still swings around. Even now I have to keep my hands from shaking as I type, for remembering the story in the vividness needed to write about it is enough to fill me with rage again! I hope that whenever you find the song "He is Still the Father" you get to hear it at least once, because it is so powerful, the chorus is, He is still the Father, who loves his little girls, He would never hurt you, or destroy your world. In his eyes you sparkle, like a priceless shining pearl. He is still the Father, who loves his little girls. *Edit: see bottom of post for full song lyrics* In my prayers I use the pseudo-name Karen when praying for this girl, and I have to keep myself from begging God's wrath upon her brothers. And her parents who cannot bring themselves to believe her, and the social workers who have ignored her constant pleas... Usually when I rant like that I delete and write over again, but I don't think I'll do that this time around. I once asked Father (God) if he would let me feel the people's pain like he does. I thing that maybe he is giving me a little taste of that. I seem to keep returning to songs, but I can't think of any other ways to say it. Don't Tell Them Don't tell them Jesus loves them, Till you're ready to love them too. Till your heart breaks from the Sorrow and the Pain they're gong through. With a life full of compassion, may we do what we must do. Don't tell them Jesus loves them, Till you're ready to love them too. Oh suffering soul, crying out for love in a world that seldom cares, See the hungry heart, longing to be filled much more than our prayers. And as a young girl sells herself on Seventh Avenue, as you hear her crying out for help. "My God, what will we do?" Do You Feel? Do you feel their pain, has it touched your life Can you taste the salt in the tears they cry Will you love them more than the hate that's been Will you love them back to life again? Will you care for them, or let them go alone Will you lend a hand, or will you cast the stone Do you feel their pain, has it touched your life Can you taste the salt in the tears they cry Will you love them more than the hate that's been Will you love them back to life again? What enrages me most of all is when people call themselves Christ-like and yet turn Karens away. Ours was not the first church to which Karen turned to, what kind of Christians would turn her away? If my writing turns a little choppy, please forgive me, this touches on my heart. Next time I'm down that way, I will definitely have to tell you my whole story. I don't even know why I'm talking about her now, this wasn't the plan. But God has let me feel some of her pain. Just yesterday or two days ago I was praying when Liege asked me a question, actually two. It was questions that I have not fully answered yet, but ones that I have already spent hours praying over. I will probably have to give you some background, but the questions Liege has asked me is this, (forgive me if don't mince words this time, Liege didn't when he asked me, and I'm not planning on doing it now) "If your friend Terry was raped, would you love her as a sister enough to be a father figure to her child?" This first question was hard enough, but before I got over the initial shock of receiving that first question, that calm loving voice of my Liege asked me another that the exact wording was lost in the shock, and literally stopped me in my tracks. I was working as a road-side waver when I was praying and received these questions, and I had to remember to keep waving once God asked me these. He asked, "And also my son/warrior, would you be willing, not to marry her, but to never speak of the child but as your own?" Bing, bang, boom. I stood there silently for a while, and Holy Spirit brought the scripture to mind, "A new commandment I give you, Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love one to another. (John 13:34-35)" I didn't understand what Liege was saying to me, I said, "But Lord! You never did that! You never ever did something like that!" Quietly, I heard the song, Thank you for the Cross, Thank you for the Cross, Thank you for the Cross, my friend. Thank you for the Cross, Thank you for the Cross, Thank you for the Cross, my friend. Once again I look upon the cross where you died, Humbled by your mercy, I'm broken inside. Once again I thank you, Once again I pour out my life. Jesus Christ, I think upon your sacrifice, You became nothing, poured out to death. Many times I’ve wondered at Your gift of life, And I’m in that place once again. I’m in that place once again. All I could say was, "Oh." That is exactly what Jesus did. He came before his Father, not as a symbol, as we so often see him, but as the sinner. Jesus didn't just come in place of a thief and rapist, but when the judgment was to be passed down saying, "I AM HE!" He didn't just become our Father and Brother, he didn't just take up the punishment, but somehow, beyond my comprehension, without committing sin, he BECAME sin for us (2 Cor. 5:21). He didn't just take on sin, and he never sinned himself, yet he both became sin and (forgive me if I can't describe it, or it sounds theologically whacked, this concept I cannot describe, for words are never as big as the truth they describe) without sinning, became the sinner. If you go to court, you cannot take the punishment of another, you can only take the punishment if you did the wrong. That was what Jesus was asking if I would be willing to do, even if it was only in a theoretical sense. I do not have to ability to 'take on sins,' but I could go around, and if somehow the Lord was not meaning this theoretically, when people would say, "He's the father," I would not deny it. I would not be the child's birth father, Just like Father isn't our birth father, yet I would be the child's father from birth, Just like Father, since we are born again! If someone were to say about God, "He's the Father," God would not say, "Hey now, wait a minute, yes I am his father, but remember, I wasn't always his father, he was born in sin. Don't ask me who the REAL father is!" NO! God would say, "YES! That is my Son! I love him beyond love! He is MY SON! I AM HIS FATHER!" (This metaphor is somewhat off, but) God would not even worry about being confused with the person who was the out-of-wedlock father, but would enthusiastically claim us as His own! Yes, God will marry us at the greatly awaited "Wedding Supper of the Lamb," but that is not for appearances, but because Jesus loves us so much. I don't know how to explain it, but those two questions have struck me to the core. My spirit goes YES! YES! My Jesus would do it, and has done it! YES, I WANT TO BE LIKE HIM! Unfortunately my flesh says, "But that would ruin your testimony now, wouldn't it?" I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt, my Jesus would take on that child as his own, and in the theoretical sense in which the question was asked, yes I would too! But if Terry ever was Really raped, and she asked me to be the father figure, would I? Would I be willing to risk my reputation, or would I stay in the shadow of fear of man in the guise of keeping my testimony? Would I? Would I really? It's not a question of What Would Jesus Do? Instead the question is What DID Jesus Do? He took the "Child born out of wedlock, "the "Child born under unusual circumstances," (you know what I mean) and has called us his own (Romans 8:16)! Would I? What Would I Do? I have just now answered my Liege by paraphrasing Peter, "What else could I do?" If I want to be like you Jesus, what else could I do? I am sorry about this quite lengthy letter, maybe it was more for me than you. As I started to do about three pages back, Thank you so much for being someone whom I can look back to and find someone to whom I know my life touched, and has grown in the Lord so much, I believe has grown higher and deeper than me. You know this already, but when (emphasis on when) you come down this way, "Karen's" story is confidential, many here could put the “who” with the story easily. And when I wrote Liege's question to me, I didn't change the name, so that would probably be quiet too. Anyway, I am going to attempt to call you again tonight, but if I don't get you that way... if it's alright with you, I want to show some of your work to Pastor John (my youth pastor), if nothing else, he could write a piece about it for the back cover for you. If I don't get a hold of you, E-mail me by Tomorrow, mid-day so I can know whether or not to print the papers off. Thanks man, P.S. You know, that was planned on being a short note, asking your permission to show your work to Pastor John, I guess God had some other plans.

Well, There's my letter. I am again sorry that I have not posted recently, I will try to do better. Stay Strong my Brothers and Sisters, -David DT Shore

*Edit: I found that most of the people coming to my blog are finding it through serching for "He is Still the Father" so I have posted the full lyrics here: They tell her, God loves her, She says "That's great!" They tell her, He's a father, Then she hesitates. Something happened long ago, She still feels the fear. If God is like a Father, Does she really want Him near? He is still the Father, who loves his little girls, He would never hurt you, or destroy your world. In his eyes you sparkle, like a priceless shining pearl. He is still the Father, who loves his little girls. Tomorrow, the papers, Will print the news. A father, a daughter, Another child abused. So many hearts are breaking now, Who is keeping score? For every one they rag about, There are thousands more. But He is still the Father, who loves his little girls, He would never hurt you, or destroy your world. In his eyes you sparkle, like a priceless shining pearl. He is still the Father, who loves his little girls. His arms are strong, (His arms are strong) And they won't hurt you, (They won't hurt you) His hand is there, (His hand is there) To lead the way. His loving eyes can see your heartache, And they'll wipe your tears away, (He will wipe your tears away) (He will wipe your tears away) For He is still the Father, who loves his little girls, He would never hurt you, or destroy your world. In his eyes you sparkle, like a priceless shining pearl. He is still the Father, who loves his little girls. I can't remember who wrote the song ("Rue" something or other), but it was released (to my knowledge) only in Washington State. Before I moved to Virginia, I used to go to Church For All Nations in Tacoma, WA, and we did that song often as a Human Video. If anyone has a copy of that song, or even knows who wrote it, or where I can buy it, pleeeease e-mail me at, (dablueeagle@gmail.com)! Thanks!